India: scientific approach to a mystery

I am already at home in Russia, yet there is so much more to write about India. I'll continue posting here, so keep an eye on this blog. I set up my old-and-new blog about Russia HERE - you may also check out that one now and then. Also, slowly but surely I am uploading the pics from the travels on which I haven't posted yet at the upgraded (hurra!) Yahoo.

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Location: Russia

Friday, June 30, 2006

Flying home

The drive to Indira Ghandi International Airport was such as I could never picture it. I remember this thought on the back of my mind when Anya and Linda have left. I was convinced: I’d be so miserable when I take a plane home. If only I knew at that time how the misery feels like.

I recall different people taking plane home – all under different circumstances and with different feelings. I remember French Helene who caught hepatitis all of a sudden and was immediately sent home for the treatment and soonest recovery. I was wondering how it feels to leave one day without any chance to do more just because the circumstances say so. I remember Roel who got a chance to visit his family in Holland in the middle of his traineeship – his boss was taking him to the business trip in Europe. I envied this one so much for this free-of-charge opportunity to spend some time with his family and friends there, to see his country and its people - to breath in its air, to taste its food.

Strangely enough as it seems now, it was him, Roel, who the weekend before requested me to join him for souvenir shopping and this is how I myself actually got some gifts to bring home, otherwise I’ve been postponing getting those on the plea that my flight home is so far away.

The other day I was actually planning what to ship home on the first occasion and the latter turned to be the prospective visit of my sister in August. I actually organized my stuff in the closet accordingly.

…………………

That Thursday I was giving the final touch to the research proposal we were to submit on Monday when I got a call from mom. I did not pick it up as I did not want interruption at that point… Yet, she gave me one more call, one more and another one. I shivered, as I started realizing why she was calling. The realization made me want to postpone the talk as long as I could… I texted her requesting to get in touch later. With her reply the conversation became inevitable. She messaged back, “Ded umer” (Granddad has died)…Immediately taken over by the chaotic dance of thoughts and feelings I began to shake in voiceless sobbing, the one that makes you feel at the ultimate edge when you want to burst into particles as there is no way to stand the pain becoming physical any longer. Me not yet believing, being horrified to see my grieving relatives, yet definitely urged to be with them determined dynamics of the day. Finishing the proposal, arranging for the ticket, having numerous phone talks with friends and direct line with my sister, last minute gift shopping, packing, painful getting taxi, ultimate despair that at such a moment I am again on my own to handle the hurdles and the pain of the moment …. and eventually me sitting on the board of Aeroflot plane at 4.30 am, still not quite believing I’ll touch the ground of the motherland in some odd 7 hours.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Meeting women

The other day when I was getting a next batch of admonitions regarding hanging out with bad guys from my friend Tenzin, a Buddhist monk. I replied laughing, “I just realized that your words had an impact: there are not only no bad guys around, there are none! Who would take care of me then?”

I am recalling my first months in India when I was blossoming in the loads of attention, my wishes anticipated and fulfilled in the form of coffee-sallies, night rides, crazy outings, ice-creams and dinners, and more… Yet, soon you realize the intentions of all those nice people go way further than those of friends. If one is to learn to say “No” India is the right country to practice. Being a nice girl, yet saying “No” to anything that does not make you feel comfortable is hard, but achievable.

Last night this and many other insights were shared over a cosy dinner at Lajpat. Markus and Roel were the only guys in the 11-people crowd and we, girls, just went on and on sharing our experience with Indian guys. I realized that being in a community of mature and self-confident women can be as rewarding as receiving fluttering attention from men. It is all about the balance.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Long-awaited monsoon comes!

The weekend started in the anticipation of 50 C heat assured by the weather forecast. What proved true is that we sweated a lot. Not because of the heat, though. On Saturday the reddened pancake of the sun was licked off by sudden blasts. The relief was immediate, yet short-lived. The heat disseminated by the stolen sun was soon replaced by the humidity of the seemingly synthetic air. Sweating has become a part of being: you do not even need to move around or be exposed to the heat to start sweating – you just do irrespective.

Two sweaty days betokened the monsoon. The insights on what it takes to go through one started coming. Dry and frizzy hear, skin ever glittering with sweat – very sexy, yet so unpractical… Make up hardly makes any sense and dressing up is ruled out as an option.
Just last night I made this comment that monsoon is a perfect excuse to give up about your look ;o) And already today I had an opportunity to prove it.

I was waken up in the morning by the call from Janet. A glance at the watch brought it up as clear as a noon: overslept. Looking outside the window gave a certain clue on why. It was all dull grey as opposed to bright yellow as usual and it was raining cuts and dogs. Without thinking twice I put on my waterproof jacket, crappy pants, flip-flops, took a change and headed into the rain. In fact, the rain was not that heavy once I got outside, yet falling drops appeared to be juts a part (a very insignificant one) of the hurdle. The real trouble was caused by all those drops that had already fallen and now formed small lakes and rivers on the streets. The 5 minutes walk from my house to the market resulted in my pants being all soaking wet. Flip-flops are not the best shoes for river crossing really: with their help you virtually draw water and poor it on yourself. Yet, I was really happy to baptize my waterproof jacket here in India: once it is not that hot it’s a way more viable option than an umbrella.

The bus ride was fun - changing three busses, observing how people manage in different ways, breathing in all the freshness of the after-rain air, driving through the highways full of water and laughing at the splashes made by bus and sufficient to give a good shower to the careless pedestrians. Yet, I was so relived to reach office, change and indulge a cup of hot milk tea.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Weekends are made for shopping

I love shopping. I derive my happiness through ay sort of it: window-shopping, shopping for presents, shopping with friends, shopping alone, last minute shopping, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shopping when I do not need anything and shopping for highly-wanted items. Every shopping sally is a small-scale expedition to an unknown land with an unpredictable outcome. A challenge to your imagination, a chance to try out new roles. Simply a good way to spend your time – alone or with your friends. Here in India one more exciting dimension adds to the excitement of shopping – bargaining.

I felt sort of appreciated in my shopping passion when Roe asked me to join him for the presents shopping. This lucky one got a chance to combine use and pleasure, as we say in Russia: he is going on a business trip to Holland and would get some time to spend with his family. Therefore, a strong need for presents.

State Emporiums at CP and Janpath were as touritic as good. A huge rose-tree elephant was the major proud of Roel, yet my heart melted in front of funky colourful wooden statues from Orissa. Yet, it is so good to get stuff from local markets and shops that tourists would never bother to check out: so beloved Lajpat Nagar Market was the last destination of the day. Efficiency of Roel and him knowing what he wants coupled with my knowledge of the places and energy to meet clearly set shopping targets were extremely fruitful. 9-15 pm, market is getting closed; we are in a velo-rickshaw where we can hardly fit dozens of the bags full of goodies, driving home.

Demonstrating the purchases to the inhabitants of Lajpat Nagar trainee-house, having dinner and some drinks, watching DaVinci Code on DVD. It is interesting how my visits to Lajpat Nagar have become so ritualised and full of those little always-rewarding routines. Following one of those, next morning I got up and headed outside to get some fruits from the vendors who roam around the area at that hour. I really like Lajpat for this casual morning shopping you can do at once. Breakfast gets ready, people get awake and six of us are sharing a Sunday morning meal at the big table in the leaving room. The girls decided for shopping inspired by our last night experience and so we go to Sabhyata where we spend some hours selecting kurtas and picking up matching salwars and dupattas. Way home was not short either as we made it through the stalls of junk jewellery that one can hardly pass cool-heated. Once at home Roel is presenting his newly purchased business outfit, girls are trying the salwar suits they just bought…Shopping insanity is getting viral… me and Kate discussing how to put an end to this pleasant, yet very devastating for the pocket hobby of getting things… Sighing, complaining about the weak-will and greediness – and trying clothes, and discussing matches and getting inspired for more.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Qualitative and quantitative

Last week at work was mainly devoted to learning about and making my own attempts to put sociologic observations, at times lengthy, at times contradicting themselves, and always – hopelessly qualitative, into econometric form, elegant and quantitative to the bone.

Apparently, the competency of the organization I am working for is a social research: social implications of the issue, stakeholders involved, their stands and interactions, – all interlinked and analyzed in an elaborate qualitative manner. I am not sure the agency that commissioned the study in question was aware of this (yet, the point was clearly made in the proposal we submitted). Yet, an interesting turn in the project occurred when after revising the 5th version of the questionnaires we got the methodological guidelines from the funding agency which basically questioned the whole approach to the study as discussed initially. They wanted us not simply to have it more quantitative, but in fact – have it according to an economic model we are supposed to derive from god-knows-there. I do not question the descriptive value of mathematic modeling in social processes, yet I question the whole approach when social scientists are expected to come up with a formula. Wrong place to inquire, is it not?

So, the whole mental capacity of the department (which just shrank twice last week with two people being on leave) was mobilized for the study of the existing models that might be relevant for the project in question. I spent a week on learning about various indices of economic and human development as well as gender empowerment. The major stand emerged. It is thrilling to think that the fruits of the complex development process can be captured by some sort of statistical indicators, weighted and represented as a number or as a rank in case of the cross-country comparison. Yet, when applying any sort of mathematic formula to describe social reality and making hundreds of assumptions to fit at times indescribable social phenomenon into a set of indices how socially valuable the outcome of the exercise can be. I’ve got two examples to illustrate the point.


Awkward example: In particular, my boss got to know about so called gender equilibrium model and downloaded respective readings. The article with a host of mathematical formulae had a very horrifying appearance and hardly invited to reading. I recalled similar animals I had to tame during my supply chain management course at NHH. At that time I learn that you can most probably grasp the essence of such an article from the abstract, or at worst from the introduction and conclusion of the same. Unless you are able to appreciate the mathematical effort of the authors, in which case you have to go through the whole piece… So, I applied the same wisdom to the article on gender equilibrium model. In fact, I invited Kate to share the pleasure of going through such a dignified distinctive piece of writing – together with her it was easier to face the experience. So, I started with the abstract….

We study a general equilibrium model with endogenous human capital formation in which ex ante identical groups may be treated asymmetrically in equilibrium. The interaction between an informational externality and general equilibrium effects creates incentives for groups to specialize.

Fairly impressed, I proceeded to the summary

The dominant group is better off in equilibria with discrimination, which we view as an appealing property since this can rationalize why active measures are taken to institutionalize discrimination.

So, essentially 30-page piece of pathetic writing and hard-core mathematical exercise established something that has been comprising common knowledge of social science for decades: gender discrimination persists as it is beneficial for the dominant (male) group of the society. I wonder why the authors so genuinely interested in the issue have never bother to check the immense treasuries of social science literature on the same, as becomes evident from their bibliography.


Elegant example: The other day I was going through a study by the Ministry of Economic Development in New Zealand, which was benchmarking economic development of the country against its counterparts in OECD. The comparison was made along with eights groups of indicators describing various components of economic progress. No weights were given to any of the parameters to arrive to any sort of ultimate ranking, yet a prudent analysis of each parameter and its component was done instead. I was amazed at times by the elegant solutions drawn to quantify some of the parameters. For example, level of development of financial market was described in terms of the volume of the stock market, size of the banking system and the dynamics of the interest rate; innovation and technology was assessed through a number of parameters including technology adoption, quantified as amount of broadband subscribers. I thought of it as a very nice (and justified) way to carry out a comprehensive analysis of at times very “soft” indicators and grasp the whole picture without simply assigning values to its various parts.

Dilemma of quantitative versus qualitative, economics versus social science is ever-persisting. By no means I wish to establish superiority of either, but rather to note that both are bounded to be used within their limits. So, assigning a numerical value to a social phenomena., while being a thrilling mental exercise, should be socially worthwhile. Yet, social scientists should not be scared by impressive mathematical formulas and abundance of numbers as they can read those capitalizing on their expertise. Moreover, exactly by the virtue of the limitations of both - quantitative and qualitative, economics and social science – they are doomed to interact and mutually enrich instead of keeping the respectful distance and giving arrogant looks to each other. The point was nicely illustrated at one occasion.

On Thursday I got to attend a seminar on Unorganized Sector in India. It was absolutely eye opening to observe a purely economic discussion – the realization came: I got quite unused to this sort of disputes. A bunch of labor economists were discussing the jobless growth and low labor elasticity to the growth of GDP in India, different yet converging situations in both organized and unorganized sector in terms of job insecurity. The language of statistics and the discussion on very much methodological issues made me realize my economic origins. Being a business student, yet sufficiently exposed to the economics in its various manifestations I am supposed to think and elaborate along with the similar lines. Yet, I do not… In course of the whole discussion I could not get rid of the idea that social dimension is outrageously missing in the dispute, yet I could not point out in what way. My hesitations were clarified by a professor from Department of Sociology, JNU, who chaired the session on the vulnerability of the workers in unorganized sector. He started with the confession that as a student of a social science he was initially afraid to miss out at the economic discussion. Yet, he had understood everything brought up so far and he said the in fact by applying the perspective of the social science one can deepen the present discussion. And then he said the words.. those I’ve been so desperately looking for but could not easily find by the virtue of me still being a novel in the area of social science. He pointed out that vulnerability had been discussed at the seminar as a somewhat personal characteristic. Yet, vulnerability is embedded in specific social identities one associates with. People are not vulnerable as individuals, but rather as part of social groups – e.g, ethnic minorities, scheduled cast, and women – which are prone to vulnerability. This is by looking at the power relations in the society one can understand why vulnerability is an inherent societal phenomenon maintained by the dominant group of the society. Despite the seemingly pathetic wording the implications are straight-forward: it is by understanding what pulls workers in unorganized labor one can address their vulnerability and eventually make a difference.


The other day I was explaining to Kate the concert that prof. Kaufman and myself are going to coin in the prospective article. The concept is a basic one, yet strangely absent in the management and psychological literature. Kate replied that for her as coming from social anthropology the concept is pretty straightforward. This is such a pitiful, yet typical pitfall of science when there is very little interaction between various subject domains and what has been established long time back in one just starts coming up in another. I feel very happy with the very thought that my economic and business education gets so enriched with the interest in physiology and sociology and interaction with people from the respective fields. Establishing interdisciplinary linkages, cross-checking the concepts and working out the vocabulary that could be shared by scholars from different domains – as an exciting arena. And I could not wished anything else, as anything else is already farsightedly included.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Professional milestone

AIESEC in Delhi University (the organization that handles my traineeship on the part of India) has launched a PBOX (Project-Based-On-Exchange) for the development sector. The idea was to realize a number of development traineeships around the same time to make the trainees arrive almost simultaneously so that to facilitate their interaction within a small yet vibrant community. Basically, PBOX brings a number of trainees together to discuss the issues they work on at their NGOs and to exchange ideas – both formally (at the learning events) and informally (at various cultural sallies).

This Monday the first learning event of the development PBOX was combined with the meeting of AIESEC’s local committee. A director of ActionAid in India was invited to talk about the causes he is involved with. The other half of the event was given to Kate and myself to present s few issues that we work on at CSR. In fact, Kate, since joining CSR has been talking about gender sensitizing programs for youth enrolled in higher education institutions. As she rightly observed middle and upper class has been left out by any sort of the development initiatives on the plea that those have capacity to manage in life – being it educational, mental, or financial base. Yet, when it comes to such instances as violence against women, the statistic convincingly shows that the phenomenon cuts across all the social strata and neither level of education nor financial wealth alter the dominant views on the subordinate role of women in the society. Therefore, gender sensitization is essential for any social group. With these considerations in mind Kate has been talking to people, including AIESEC itself and people there suggested the first learning event of PBOX become a trial forum for her aspirations. She invited me to venture into that together.

We spent a weekend on the presentation. The powerpoint slides hardly took a couple of hours, whereas in-depth discussions on gender issues seasoned with juicy mangos in between were impossible to abstain from. Inspired by a blend of personal, academic and work-related interests, two girls, British and Russian ones, staying in India and working for a women’s NGO with the respective backgrounds of social anthropology and international business studies obviously had a lot to discuss and they did. Overarching patriarchal framework in India and globally; westernized lifestyles co-existing with patriarchy; participation of women in political decision making and economic arena; experience of female vs. male trainees in India; being a Western girl in India; being a woman in India; premarital sexual relations in various cultural contexts; arranged marriages; catcalls on the streets - whatever was learned before, experienced by far and worked on up till now. Any time span did not seem enough to cut the arguments short and to present the dry residuum of the discussion. Two rehearsals hardly helped – being as concise as we could (we figured out we just cannot) we still were not sufficiently brief.

At the learning event itself we got to know there was just half an hour at our disposal – implying we had to twice cut the presentation that, we thought, we had already cut to the bone. Yet, all of a sudden a wave of determination brought us to the microphone and made us start. Immediately we got into the flow and literally panted out the presentation. Finished exactly in half an hour. Got curious questions, involved comments and encouraging feedback from the AIESECers.

Yet, only on the way home I realized what happened… After a half a year in the development sector with CSR I got the first chance to present the issues I’ve been exposed to, was reading about, was writing on, got aware at the trainings, seminars, conferences, during the talks with colleagues. I got to present them independently – meaning with Kate, yet without careful supervision and censorship of the grands. I have just figured out actually, have figured out just now, that I am able to take a stand on the issues that I had a rough idea about just some tine back. Now I can talk about them confidently, develop arguments backed up with statistics, address and question audience. The participant observation I am running in India on day-to-day basis has been fruitful: major insights are rightly captured, it seems. An AIESEC girl when giving a feedback on the presentation pointed with agitation that the issues we touched upon are a part of everyday life of any Indian girl.

I would never think of a half an hour presentation to 25 students as an important milestone in my personal and professional development, but it turned out to be. What was meant as a message to other people appeared to be a message to myself: my passion for the subject has naturally developed into expertise which in turn brings nothing else but tremendous professional and not at least personal self-confidence.

World Cup fever

Needless to say, trainee community goes crazy about WorldCup these days. Kate wrapped in a white flag with a red cross cheering the laid-back English team; Roel, all dressed in orange heading to the Dutch embassy to watch the match; Nicole saying “Worldcup is starting next week. I am so excited” when I meet her on the street and asked how she was doing; Karoline and Daniela carefully planning where to go every night to watch the match. And all of them…… asking if I want to join, if I saw the match last night, if I this and if I that….. And….. Whatever the questions are the answer is a ready-made one. No….I could not care less and however many times I tried (link to playing football and table), however many times people did their bit to accustom me to soccer, I still do not see anything but men kicking the ball on the field. How exciting can that be?.....

This was my small contribution to the overall excitement.



Yes, I am opportunistic: I would cheer any team that gives away such funky crowns ;o)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Insightful laundry

A landmark of the weekend was the never-ending laundry. Washing my clothes appeared to be an extremely insightful activity. Only when I emptied the basket with the dirty clothes I realized how much stuff I’ve actually managed to amass during this short 5 months here. Hardly surprising the fact remains: kurtas coming in every pallet, color combination and form are so tempting and actually obtainable. And my sallies to Sarojini for the export rejected are direct treat to the trouble-free check in. People, come and help to ship the goodies! ;o)

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Refreshing

A short shower on Friday was followed by a very pleasant night when I hardly needed a fan. Cool water running from the tap in the morning gave a hope and the noon temperature performed up to the expectations: I was sitting at the living room of my host family with both doors leading to the terrace open and enjoying the view of the green shady park. Open doors in noon is an unspeakable luxury at this time of the year, so even more pleasant it was to indulge this unexpected escapade of the weather.

After the hectic morning devoted to laundry and cleaning I was heading to my host family for lunch. On the way I experienced my first road accident. As appeared those happen all of a sudden with you knowing only post-factum. So more shocking the thought is… The auto I was in stopped at some crossing and I was tossed little forward as usually happens when auto-wallas break all of a sudden, which they often do. Yet, I realized that the matter was more serious this time: that I heard and actually felt the crash from behind. The auto-walla stopped, stepped out of the vehicle and went to examine the back … I looked back and saw a car right behind us… A minor, but crash...

The lunch at the host family was as usual yummi, yet unusually spicy. I have not been to my host family’s for about 2 months and in course of that time have managed to get unused to the level of spiciness so typical for South-Indian food. After the lunch was chatting with Nivanthee, which is always easy-going and insightful. She’s got this amazing gift of explaining things as they generally are, without overwhelming you with her personal stand, yet definitely taking one.

Fulfilled with food and conversations I headed to Lajpat trainee house where I found Markus and Kate both affected by the cleaning syndrome, so typical of Saturday morning. The guys basically decided to use the unique situation at the house: as Corina and Thomas have just left and Sarah has just arrived, the opportunity to carry out the major clearance of the house naturally came. Lajpat has a reputation of an open-door house, so stuff, guests and tenants virtually appear and disappear without hosts knowing. In the very spirit of AIESEC who proclaims “It’s up to you!” Markus and Kate thought that all it takes is effort of some. So, these two spend the morning trashing everything that did not fit the suitcases of all those left and that was generously donated to the house. The effort made the place unrecognizably clean and spacious. We were sitting with the guys, and sipping creamy chai and I felt so grandmotherish when sharing my memories on how this house was when I moved in.

The whole afternoon was spent in an intense discussion between me and Kate preparing a presentation for a workshop on gender issues for AIESEC LC on Monday. In the evening when Roel and Sarah got back from work a consensus on going out emerged. Spontaneous is good, thought we. Yet, for me the dressing up part remained the most exciting of it. Me with the stuff all borrowed from Kate, Sarah and store-rooms of Lajpat – was captivated by the curiosity of a small girl delving into her mother’s closet. Hyatt Regent Hotel where we got later depressed us in many ways. Guys got upset with the top-heavy prices on beer. Girls were not pleased with the abundance of old Western men and young Indian ones with searching looks. Yet, I have to say that both Sarahs, Kate and Roel are the people which you can hand in to for a good spirit –fun was there. However, the place got shut down at 12-30 and the house party at Lajpat, initially suggested, appeared the viable option for the night to go on. I did not join … and as a revenge they went to see the sunrise at India gate without me second time. My revenge was the morning I had next day and they did not ;o)

Monday, June 12, 2006

Back to life

Wishing no more than sleeping off the heat and waking up somewhere in October, I was so reluctant to leave out my soaked scarf and meet some people. Yet, once I did the surprises came.
On Sunday I was to meet with a girlfriend of a friend – the meet up was much anticipated by both of us for different reasons. On my part, I was happy to spend some time with Indian GIRLS as I hardly get a chance to. I should do it more often and then I would probably get a somewhat wider prospective on Indian people as such, put aside men-only perspective. In fact I have to rethink my exalted post on Indian males as friends .. It appears that once you are a guest in this country it would not be only men taking care of you. “Atithi Devo Bhava” cuts cross gender. Girls can be very protective and caring when it comes to taking you out, depending on the person, of course. In many instances, you’d feel small and … guarded. Taking care of your transportation, paying the bills, giving cautions in this and that and hardly letting you raise your finger is not a male prerogative here. See, these are not only Indian men can be terrific friends as I stated earlier. Indian women can be too… It’s just that for a foreign girl it is way easier to get to know the former than the latter.

Udita and her friend took me along for some shopping at GK-1, this upscale (or at times – simply overpriced) market. It is there my ideas of a traditional wearing of saree were challenged once I got exposed to the young girls' aspirations - open holt-blouses and fish petticoat. We roamed around masses of counterfeit Diesel pants and Morgan tops and piles of unbranded, yet at least H&M level priced stuff. This is what GK-1 is about. However skeptical I was about the place I had nice time shopping and dining with girls. Not everyone who loves GK-1 is pathetic after all, forget your stupid pre-conceptions…

The next day I got capable of my own shopping undertakings. The location was picked without any doubts: I go for Sarojini, Sarojini and Sarojini once more. Long live export-rejected clothes!!! Janet, my Korean-Canadian flatmate came along and again the occasion favored changing my views, or preconceptions that take over with such an ease. And after all I pride myself on being open-minded… imagine those who do not then.... This twenty-year-old girl who seemed totally outspaced during the first days actually found her way around. For instance, through the local church she got into Korean community now lending immense support to her. Having figured out that the NGO she is working for cannot offer her something rewarding, she immediately found the second one to volunteer for. Managing fairly well, to put it short.

The next batch of insights came during the shopping at Sarojini itself. As determined by the occasion I got into my fight-your-deal mood and the outcome was not in coming. For some 450 backs ($ 10) I got 3 beautiful skirts, 3 shirts and 2 tops, so did Janet. I realized there is a whole big difference for me between getting around with Indian people and being my own/with some trainees. It’s very often you would hear Indians saying that the safest way to avoid cheating and get good deals for foreigners is to stick with Indian friends. For me it does not work; moreover, it works quite the opposite. Whenever I am with Indian people who, as noted above, tend to be very protective, I feel very tourist, very helpless, clueless and taken care of – this would be hard to bargain for me to the full capacity just because my self-confidence just would not be there. And, according to my observations, Indian people may not go to extremes as far as the bargaining is concerned. Yet, once alone I feel I am out there on my own and unless I adopt kick-them-all attitude I am in trouble with impudent rikshaw-wallah, fruit vendors, traffic and… people on the streets….So, I do – kick them all on full power. The feeling even re-enforces once I am with other trainees as I feel the responsibility to take care of those and they all know as a tough bargainer….

Yet, after sufficient amount of kicks exercised it felt simply divine to relax at Mocha cafe and sip my cold freshly squeezed lemonade. That night I planed to meet with a few people and for one time sake I decided to bring them all together. Not really a fan of mixing friends I gave it a try. And whatever apprehensions I had everyone appeared to be very cool and people mixed well. Amit, a good friend of many trainees, a tall and good-looking guy, and a model on the top was flattered with he attention of four girls. Girls were curios how I got to meet this hot one ;o) But even more amusing it was to realizes that all the four girls were trainees for NGO – first time in India I got to be in an “NGO gang”. We were sharing experiences of taking busses, being hassled on the streets and working for a social cause. The girls came to India just some time back. I realized that meeting newcomers helps you revise your own experience and challenge the things you’ve already started taken for granted. It was so funny, to get questioned by Lynn, this very observant and equally good in wording her observations Malaysian girls who stays in the States. She was asking, “Do you guys say yes in Indian way?”... “Do you drink water without touching the neck of the bottle?” I had no option but to nod in a tilting motion from right to left This is how I express my agreement these days.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Indian summer: relapse

The more hopes and aspirations you save for the weekend these days the more disappointing it would turn out. The recent disaster of May heat repeated itself in the guise of June heat, yet the essence changed very little. I woke up on Sunday around 9 am just to realize my room had been already well warmed up by the bastard- sun that wakes up well before me anyway. The ceiling fan in my room was still trying hard, as if we both did not know it was a Sisyphean toil: kicking hot air does not help – the air remains hot.
Yet, my stamina was sufficient for some food intake and even for reading a couple of texts that required a serious cognitive effort. However, by Sunday morning the solid part of my enthusiasm was gone and the energy left was hardly sufficient for the breakfast. After which I slept off… Trying to keep my time at least a bit useful and meaningful I wrapped myself in a soaking wet huge scarf and opened a book. Idly sliding on the pages I was huddling up as the feeling of the wet scarf spread out on my body was hardly comfortable; but soon I got annoyed as the scaft dried so quickly that I had to interrupt my reading and to soak the scarf in close-to-boiling tap water again and again. Yet, both the wet scarf as a manual fan, as referred by Janet, my flatmate, and the reading as the most active way to fill in my leisure time – were those two things I could afford for then…