Indian wedding: Reception

Getting ready

Got back to the hotel right on time - to get dressed for the reception. Reception is a formal function (held by the groom’s side this time) when guests come, greet the couple, five the gifts, dance, socialize and have food. This is the most secular function out of all as almost no religious rituals are carried out.



Yesterday I was offered to borrow a lehenga to wear for this function. I am truly grateful to Aphu and her mother who generously gave me the chance to wear this amazing piece of traditional Indian clothes. Most probably, I’d never get such a great one myself. The concept of lehenga is as follows. The blouse is similar to that you would wear with saree. The skirt is a self-sufficient piece. In my case it was a very heavy one with rich decorations and wide embroidered stripe on the bottom. Equally heavy decorated dupatta goes on top in palu-like manner. I also borrowed a great golden chain with a nice pendent. My look would not have been complete without matching ear-rings for 35 Rs (Lajpat Nagar market, New Delhi) ;o) and a set of bangles in Indian style for 59 NOK (Assessorize, Bergen, Norway) or 50 Rs elsewhere in India ;o) A matching bindi was put on. Not forgetting mehindi that was still on my hand.





All in all, I thought that my saree-look last night was such a blast that the impression I would make today cannot be any stronger, but still – compliments were coming. While yesterday it was sort of surprise, today it was a celebration of fully Indianized me ;o)

On the way

We are driving to the Park Hotel in Vizag. I am enjoying a thrilling feeling of anticipation. This is the final function and out last night at this place – I am wondering how it turns. Already mentally saying bye to the generous and cheerful people of Andhra and to the great carefree time we had here.

It's a long drive we are taking, so abundance of time allows for reflections. The city appears to be wow-developed: the major all-India retail chains are there (I never give up my major assessment criteria ;o) along with many decent looking local shopping and dining facilities, mostly great roads with fresh light-reflecting marking.

I feel almost as a princess in this lehenga, next to the elegant Vishnu who is driving, and four gorgeously dressed ladies on the back seat – ultimate anticipation.



My pathetic thoughts get interrupted by a girl who approaches the car on a busy crossing, she stretches the window asking for money. I guess, however high you might be these accidents really bring you back to earth. Beggars approach you on the street if you walk, they would continuously follow you and touch you at the train stations if you travel and they would come up at the busy traffic lights if you drive. Any time I would feel so disturbed and insecure... in the sense.. I’ve been told many times that I should not give any money even to kids because kids themselves do not benefit from those. Then… how much could I give anyway? Would 5-10 Rs make a huge difference? Then.. I would never have enough to give out for anyone asking. Basically, I feel very awkward, embarrassed and ashamed that such episodes exist – that people beg for money and I cannot help (or, can I?). I was saying before coming to India that I cannot devote my life to branding of chocolate while so many people on the planet are starving from hunger. What am I doing now? Yes, I came down here to contribute to the empowerment of women. Yet, I am having somewhat eclectic lifestyle that combines travelling to work by busses and socializing with middle and upper-class locals. This triggers my thinking and makes me share my thoughts. Still, what is my contribution? And poverty, illiteracy and illegality are still there? How much difference can one make and what it takes to make difference?

Function

Arriving to the 5 star Park Hotel - very cosy and smart settings without the pathetic touch so typical for huge hotels.



The function is held on the outside area.









We start dancing after a short while and here the blust comes. Nivanthee is an amazing dancer and it’s a great pleasure to watch her dancing. She is also one of those who would not hesitate to be the first one on the dance floor.



Guys and men are unspeakably good too. I’ve been trying to catch up with the traditional steps and I hope looked fine (not too desperate ;o) in my heavy long lehenga doing all this anyways. All the lights and cameras were pointing at the dance floor – so much at stake ;o) Was dancing with mamajies, cousins and many more. Special dance was planed on with the granddad. At Pradana an old man approached us and asked who is Nivanthee and who is the girl from Russia. He got to know about our dance on mehindi night and he wanted to dance with us both on the reception night: disco with me and break-dance with Nivanthee. So we go: granddad is here and we are already dancing. All the attention, amazed looks, cameras and lights are there. Once, you are put at the spot – you are to perform! Chalo! What a blast!!!

After the dancing session I was walking around and catching spell-bound looks of men, compliments from many (“good dance”) and praise from women from the family on my “perfect look” (thank you dear all, this is not without our advices, care and attention I’ve managed to accomplish it!!!). I hope Aphu and her mother did not mind my crazy dancing in the amazing lehenga ;o)

This all is a pleasant kind of attention you’d like to receive - once in a while I enjoyed being noticed. This is not like on the streets where I stand out of the crowd by the virtue of being blond and westernly dressed. This is being appreciated for the respect you showed to the local traditions – wearing traditional clothes, trying Indian-style dancing, eating spicy food with my fingers… You are given credit fir that . People wonder about you not only because you look differently, but also because while looking differently you obey their norms and traditions. However many jokes there has been made in the meanwhile: oh, I believe they really make fun of foreigners, these Indians ;o) But they also give you a credit once you take an effort.